Eminence Front
by PiscesChikk
Summary: Happens directly after John is released from Rikers in Prisoner's Dilemma. An alternative ending to the one we got where they were captured by Donnelly. The name of the fic is from the song playing while he was being released. It's by The Who.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N I'm sure a lot of people were as upset as I was that Donnelly interrupted Reese and Carter's private moment after he was released. So I wrote an alternative version of it. Hope you enjoy. I don't own Person of Interest or its characters.**_

* * *

It had been a long day, Carter thought. And before that, a long 72 hours while John had been locked up at Rikers. Donnelly had been determined, partly crazed and downright relentless in identifying John as the Man in a Suit. She couldn't blame him; he was simply doing his job. And though it went against every oath she took when she became a police officer, she knew as soon as John had been taken into custody that there was nothing she wouldn't do to get him out.

In the first 72 hours she'd switched his DNA sample and deleted his prints out of the database, even stole the hard copies to ensure he'd be set free. And they had been close, so close until Donnelly had blocked their release again. She couldn't keep the disappointment off of her face when he said he'd be holding them just a little while longer.

She was afforded one moment to lock eyes with John and though it was brief, the look of frustration, exhaustion and disappointment was clear to her. In that moment, he conveyed his gratitude for her being there. And she hoped that he could see that she wouldn't leave his side, she'd stand by him, if only figuratively until it was all over and she'd do whatever it took to get him out.

She saw his face turn to stone. She watched him shut down. He erected his shield as she knew his mind went to work thinking of the mental tactics he'd have to employ to get out. She wondered what Donnelly had planned next for him. For all of them.

The interrogations were grueling, tedious, and difficult. He presented himself as an investment banker, his cover flawless, his stories about his family, life in the military and his love for 'Ally' as he called her , so detailed you couldn't help but believe him.

She smiled as she looked out at the New York skyline and held onto the railing of the boardwalk as she thought of the way he flirted with her and made her smile. His gaze was playful, his banter held a touch of wit. Damn even in an interrogation, he'd managed to give her butterflies. She wondered if any part of his 'past' and 'memories' were in fact true.

Hours into it, and she had hope that Donnelly was about to give up. But then he put John out in the yard alone. It was agony to see him being beaten like that. She let out a loud breath, tears stinging her eyes remembering the blood oozing from his nose, his mouth, his brow.

She knew he was probably used to torture, was used to hand to hand combat, so he knew how to withstand injuries. He knew how to hold on before he made his move. But this was different. He couldn't fight back, he couldn't defend himself or Donnelly would know he was the man he was looking for. And he was there alone. She hoped that while it was going on, he found if just the slightest comfort knowing that she empathized with what he was going through. And though she wasn't in the physical pain that he was, she was going through an anguish of her own.

But finally it was over. And here she was standing by this lake, a spot they'd met frequently at in the past wondering where he was and if he'd made it home safely. She hoped that tonight even though he might not be able to sleep, he'd at least try to find rest.

She couldn't go home, she couldn't move. She just wanted to stay there, breathe in the air of the place where they would meet and think of him. She just wanted to think about how relieved she was that he was finally free.

* * *

Reese slipped back into his own clothes taking a deep breath, glad to be rid of his prison jumpsuit. They were releasing him. He was overjoyed at the news, but kept his face impassive the entire time. He signed his release papers noting Donnelly watched his every move. He knew the man had him pegged as the man he wanted and he was angry that he wasn't able to prove it. He looked at him briefly and fastened his watch. He didn't look back as he strode down the long hallway to exit the building.

The cold knocked him in the face as soon as he was outside. He buttoned his jacket and walked out onto the pavement raising his hand up to hail a taxi. Once he settled into the back seat he realized that he was tired, no, he was exhausted. He hadn't been able to sleep since he'd first been detained. He looked forward to going back to his loft, and lying down on his massive bed. He longed to be home.

He wondered where Carter was. Whatever she and Finch had done to get him out, he'd never forget it. She had no idea what her being there for him today had meant to him. It had been a while since he'd come back to the States from Ordos. He was used to being on missions with Kara. When things got tight, he was used to having her as his back up.

For the last couple of days he was grateful that Carter had been there to back him up. He was aware of her strength during each session of interrogation they had. She asked him just the right questions that would cement his cover life and paint him in a favourable light to Donnelly.

Her face wasn't in view of the camera, so he appreciated the smiles she didn't have to give, the reassurance in her eyes that he wasn't alone. It had been so long since he'd talked about his family to anyone. They had been nothing more than a distant memory for longer than he cared to admit. He separated himself from his childhood long ago. They were parts of a person he no longer felt he was.

He teased her when she asked about being married and living with someone. He was surprised by how the smile she gave after warmed his heart. It was the only reason he could give for her getting him to lay his heart bare for her. He knew that she knew about New Rochelle and what happened to Peter Arndt. She probably knew that Jessica's death wasn't an accident as it had been reported, but he'd never spoken in detail to her or anyone else about it.

He gave her a fake name, but the story of his and Jessica's relationship poured out of him like water. It was painful at first, but looking into her face, seemed like the most natural thing for him to do in that moment. He wondered if she thought of him as a coward for leaving Jessica behind. A coward for not being brave enough to be satisfied with having her love alone instead of a military career he felt compelled to pursue.

He didn't deserve her there. He didn't deserve her support no matter how freely she gave it. He knew she was compromising her integrity just by her route of interrogation. Her words, her looks were almost as strong as her hand holding his, and when he was on the ground getting beaten by the Aryan brotherhood, the scent of her lavender perfume helped him to get through it.

He gave the driver an address, though it wasn't for his loft on Baxter Street. He had to go _**there**_; he needed to be…._**there**_.

The taxi pulled up and he got out after paying the fare. He looked around, almost wishing she'd be there too.

* * *

It was late and it was dark and the boardwalk was deserted. He was glad that all he could hear was traffic in back of him and sound of his own footsteps on the pavement as he approached the railing. He often met Carter here when they needed to discuss a case. He wondered where she was, how she was, and he just needed to be somewhere familiar.

As he got closer he made out the form of a woman standing at the railing. He almost turned around when he noticed that it was Carter. He swallowed, inhaling deeply and walked slowly in her direction. She stood so still and silent, he almost didn't want to disturb her, but he had to get near her.

She turned her head slightly as he came to stand by her just a mere three feet away but she didn't look at him. He instantly became aware of her presence, and wasn't entirely comfortable with the rush of emotions that came over him just then. He couldn't make eye contact with her; he simply gazed in the same direction as she did.

He was used to having her around, used to calling on her whenever he needed her, but now….something between them had shifted. The minute he got locked up, something had shifted. She was no longer an asset to him. She was no longer just Detective Carter. She was no longer just a friend.

He wondered why she was here. Did she come for the same reason he did? To be at the spot where they'd met so many times before? Did she feel the need to see him as much as he'd wanted to see her?

He dared not hope for that.

"Who you looking for out here, Carter?" he asked quietly.

"No one in particular." She replied, still looking out at the water.

"Where's Fusco tonight? I thought he'd be happy to see me."

"I'm sure he will be, but, he's otherwise occupied."

She turned to him then, the effects of the day showing in her eyes and on her face.

"I don't know how to thank you, Carter. I couldn't have gotten thr..…..thank you for being there." He managed to say with a crack in his voice.

"You're welcome, John. I'm just glad that you're okay. I was worried about you back there in the yard." She said, looking at the bruises near his brow. They were still red and would soon turn into a purplish colour she guessed.

He touched his brow. "Believe me, I've looked worse."

Carter shook her head at him trying to brush off his injuries and turned away. She knew from the kicks and blows he'd taken, the bruises on his body were much worse than the small one on his brow. "Don't make light of it, John. Any longer and you might have been killed." She shuddered at the thought, trying to attribute her shiver to the chill in the air. He came to walk beside her, sorry that she had to witness that grueling ordeal, but silently glad that he hadn't been alone.

"I wasn't. And I'm glad to know that you were watching over me."

"I was sick to my stomach." She said stopping mid stride and holding onto the railing again. He could feel both of their emotions running high right now. He sensed she was feeling the same pull towards him as he did towards her.

"Why, Carter?"

"Why what, John?"

"Why'd you watch over me?"

She shook her head, not wanting to answer the question.

"Tell me, Carter."

"Because, John….."

"Because what?"

"Because…..I…..I care about you." They were both silent again, gazing at the skyline, the hum of the traffic overpowering the loudness of their thoughts. It was Carter who finally spoke quietly.

"Everything you said in there….was it all a lie?"

He stood there unsure of how to answer, but after what they'd been through together, he knew he couldn't lie to her.

"Not all of it. Most of what I told you about my family was true save for a few name changes."

"And 'Ally'?" She turned to face him and he her. The soft look in her eye compelled him to speak.

"She was Jessica."

Carter nodded, she figured as much.

"She meant a lot to me, but I was too much of a coward to stay behind and be with her. And now she's gone. I have a lot to make up for. I think when she died; she took the last good part of me with her."

"That's where you're wrong, John. There's a lot of good in you. You are_** still **_a good man. And you're _**not**_ to blame for what happened to her. She just chose to marry the wrong person. There was nothing you could do."

"You know you make me want to believe that when you say it." he said with a crooked smile.

"What are you doing here anyway? Shouldn't you be home, coming out of the shower and heading to bed?" she joked.

He nodded his head.

"I wanted to see you." He said, his voice raw like it had been raked over hot coals. She was speechless at his admission and even more so when he suddenly reached over to put his hand on top of hers.

Reese heard her gasp softly knowing she was shocked but he was glad she didn't pull away. It was the first time he'd ever made an attempt to touch her like that. She turned her head to look at him.

"You mean a lot to me, Joss." He linked his fingers with hers and held tightly onto her hand. He wasn't used to being emotional. He didn't allow himself to feel much, if anything after Jessica died. This was a huge milestone for him, he sensed that she knew it as well and he felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest.

They stood there like that for what seemed like ages, doing nothing but holding hands and being quiet together. No words were needed anymore, they'd been talking the entire day, their silence right now spoke volumes.

But Reese knew it was time to go. He'd stayed too long and didn't want to risk that maybe they had been followed.

"Listen to me, Joss. We can't see each other anymore."

"What?"

"Not for a long while, at least."

"John…."

"It's for the best, Joss. We can't be seen together, and we can't run the risk of Donnelly finding out we're connected. I'd never forgive myself if you lost everything because of me."

She saw the look in his eye and reflecting on his past with Jessica, she knew he was telling the truth.

"How long?" She asked hating the idea of not being able to see him or talk to him for an indefinite amount of time.

"A few weeks, a few months, I don't know. But remember what I told you the night you got shot; you're not alone. I won't be far away from you, ever, Joss."

Tears started to sting her eyes and she nodded her head sadly. She gripped his hand even tighter knowing that he was about to leave.

"John…." She said looking up at him.

Reese looked into her eyes and before he knew it, his hand was in the back of her neck and he was pulling her close to press his lips onto hers. Her mouth was soft, inviting against his and he cupped her face to pull her even closer. Carter put her arms around his waist as their kiss became more passionate, full of the need that both of them had been carrying the entire day. A need that begged to be sated. She gave and she took from him as she met his seeking tongue with her own. Reese felt more alive with her pressed into his body than he felt in almost two years. Everything between them since they'd first met in her precinct up until now finally came to a head and exploded at this moment.

He groaned against her mouth and they broke the kiss, both of them breathless, and aware of each other. Reese grabbed her and pulled her against his chest in a crushing embrace.

"Goodbye, Joss." He whispered against her ear, finally pulling away.

"Goodbye, John." She answered and watched as he turned and walked away.

She stood there for another minute collecting herself, knowing things were forever changed after tonight.

She hoped to God she'd see him again. But as she walked to her car there was a small smile on her face and she found comfort in knowing that she'd never be alone.


	2. Dressed to Kill

_**A/N After thinking about it, I decided to extend this story. It will only be a four parter however. So this is the latest installment. Enjoy and please leave reviews! Thanks for following this story.**_

* * *

Carter sat at her desk at the precinct, going over her notes for the report she was filing. She'd just closed the case of Marvin Waverly. He'd been arrested for the murder of his wife and had been abusing her for months up until the time of her death. She picked up the photos from the file looking at the pictures of black eyes, swollen lips and at one point a broken jaw. Not once did the poor woman file charges or have him arrested. Whenever she called the police on him, she always came to bail him out and went home with him.

She'd been missing for days when a missing person's report was finally filed for her and her husband was brought in for questioning. Eventually she and Fusco had found her body buried in a woodsy area not far from the house they were living in and they were able to tie him to the murder. The type of case was all too familiar and it was one that made her sick to her stomach.

She couldn't help thinking that something could have been done to prevent it from happening. Someone could have prevented it. She wondered if Sharon Waverly would have showed up on John and Finch's radar as someone they'd needed to protect. She smiled then thinking that maybe she would have. This was a case she would have loved to help them solve.

In any event, she hadn't seen or heard from John since their meeting after his release. That was over 10 months ago. Donnelly had stayed in town for another two months after John's release and he'd kept in touch with her after that giving her information on the case with Holt, his 'Man in a Suit', and its progress. But even after he left she still hadn't seen John. He'd made limited contact with Fusco as far as she knew. If there was anything else, Fusco hadn't let on, he'd always been good at hiding things.

But in her own way she knew John was around. Sometimes she even felt his eyes on her watching, making sure that she was safe. She wished she could see him.

"That the file on Waverly?" Asked Fusco, walking over to her desk with a big envelope in his hand.

"Just finishing up my report on it, yeah."

"Damn shame what happened to his wife."

"Yeah, it's a pity she didn't have the strength to walk away and start over."

"Hmph. Women in that situation seldom do."

She shut the file glancing at the envelope in his hand. "What you got there?"

"This came in the mail for you. I picked it up with my stuff by accident yesterday. Just got a look at it."

"Thanks." She said as he handed it to her. She looked at the address curiously and was shocked to see that it came from the FBI.

She got a letter opener out of her top drawer and carefully slit the paper of the envelope so careful not to rip it.

She scanned over the letter, her hands trembling a bit.

…_**.would like to formally offer you a position at the Bureau…..**_

"Oh my God." She said quietly.

"What is it, Carter?"

"It's an invitation to join the FBI. They want an answer within a month's time."

"An offer at the FBI. that's a good thing. Don't you want to take it?"

She immediately thought of Taylor, her mom, her family. She'd have to leave New York, her city, her life as she knew it. It would mean she'd have to take Taylor out of school, she wouldn't see her mother as often as she'd like. There were so many things to consider.

_**There was also John…..she thought. **_

John who she hadn't heard from in 10 months, not that she was counting.

"It's not that simple, Fusco." She said putting the letter back into the envelope. "I have a lot of things I'd have to take into consideration.

"Better pay, better benefits, who knows what else?" Said Fusco. "Sounds simple to me."

"You trying to get rid of me, Lionel? Cause that's what it sounds like." She said teasing him.

"Of course I'd miss having you around every day, but look, an opportunity like this doesn't come around often. I'm just saying don't blow it off."

"I won't, Fusco, trust me."

She got up from her chair and went to take the file upstairs. "You're leaving now right?"

"Yeah, going to a movie with my kid." Said Lionel packing up his desk. "You got that long weekend right?"

"Yes." She said smiling. "Taylor's out of town with my mom, and I'm going out tonight with my two best girlfriends. I'm looking forward to some much needed 'me' time."

"Well enjoy it. See you Tuesday."

"Thanks, Fusco. Enjoy your movie."

* * *

"Up or down? Up or down?" Carter stood in front of the floor length mirror in her bedroom talking to herself wondering how to fix her hair. She'd already chosen her outfit; a yellow sleeveless peplum dress with a V-neckline to show just the right amount of cleavage without being too revealing and strappy blue heels with the matching clutch. She took a long look at the dress again then decided to wear her hair down.

An hour later she was ready and walked out the front door and down the steps into the street. She looked around a little, taking in her surroundings as she normally did before she got into a taxi and headed for the restaurant.

* * *

Reese parked his motorcycle and slowly removed his helmet. He followed Carter all the way to the restaurant and saw her walk in meeting two other women who he assumed were her friends. The other two women were attractive in their own right, but they didn't hold a candle to her. She was stunning, he thought. He was so used to seeing her in her work clothes. He couldn't believe the long pants and dark coloured clothes she wore all the time were hiding all that he could see right now.

The yellow fabric looked amazing against her skin, and her legs that were exposed to his vision seemed to go on for days. Her hair was curled and hung down her back and over her shoulders. He wanted to touch it so badly, run his fingers through it.

He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She sat down for dinner with them, and he watched her all evening. Her eyes were so bright, full of life and she seemed to be having fun for a change. He saw her burst into laughter a few times at whatever her friends were saying. He couldn't hear it, but he imagined it was a wonderful sound.

Apparently they drew the attention of a few guys at a table at the back. And they'd been sent a complimentary bottle of champagne. He watched as the ladies waved a thank you, and the guys even walked over to join them at the table for a few minutes. It looked like one of them asked for Carter's number, but it looked like she declined.

For the first few months after his release he noticed that she seemed worried most of the time. She hid it well whenever she around Taylor, but for the most part she seemed preoccupied with something. Eventually she'd seemed to shake off that feeling and had returned to her former self, but she still wasn't fully the Carter he'd come to know. Something about her was different, somehow.

She had continued to date Beecher, but that fizzled out almost as quickly as it began. He was relieved really. The moment they shared right after he was released never left his mind. He'd never felt closer to her before. He felt at peace next to her and he'd enjoyed the simple touch of her hand in his. He didn't like the thought of her in someone else's arms even if he felt she might have deserved better than him.

There were many times he wanted to see her, but he had to be sure that she was safe, that Donnelly didn't have anything to implicate her so he'd held back. He owed her so much, he owed her his life once again, and someday he would repay her for what she did.

When Finch had told her that she was the one who almost singlehandedly got him out of FBI custody, by switching his DNA sample _and_ deleting his fingerprints from the database, he realized the extend of how deep their feelings for one another had grown. He realized how much she cared about him, literally risking everything to get him out. And he realized in the interrogation room back at Rikers how much he had come to need her.

But he'd made himself wait.

Now Donnelly was gone and there'd been no sign of him for months.

* * *

"It's so good to finally catch up with you girl. We really need to do this more often." Carter hugged her friend Lisa while her taxi pulled up. Pam had just left moments ago.

"We say that all the time don't we?" They both laughed. "We need to do better."

"You sure you don't wanna share this one?"

"No, girl. We're going in opposite directions remember? Go on."

"Well okay. Goodnight, Joss."

"I'll see you soon sweetie." She said and blew her a kiss as the taxi pulled off. She smiled watching her go and looked around for another one. She saw one approaching and was about to raise her arm when she felt someone's hand latch onto it.

She spun round quickly seeing the guy from the restaurant who'd asked for her number.

"What th…"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Can I offer you a ride home?"

"No, thank you, I'm good." She said, frustrated that the taxi had already disappeared and she had to wait for another one.

"There aren't any more taxis in sight and I'm parked right across the street. Come on, let me take you home."

"Look I really appreciate the offer, but, no. I'll be just fine. You have a good evening though." She said looking at him straight on, hoping he'd get the message. She could get physical with him if she had to tonight, but dressed up as she was in this outfit and heels, she wasn't in the mood. And on top of that she was off and didn't feel like being a cop tonight. She walked away a little distance, but she could hear his footsteps coming behind her.

"I think we might have gotten off on the wrong foot…."

"The lady says she doesn't want the ride. I think you should take her word for it."

Carter stopped in her tracks at the sound of that voice. And despite the fact that she hadn't heard it in a long time, she'd recognize it anywhere. She turned round to see John standing next to the guy hovering over him by a fair amount of inches but staring directly at her.

"Yeah, whatever." She heard him mumble before walking away. She took in a deep breath at the sight of him. He was wearing dark jeans and a black shirt and his leather jacket. Her eyes became hooded as she immediately thought of that night when he kissed her. She felt herself blushing and put a hand up to her chest and she could swear she saw a small upturn of his lip. He couldn't possibly know what she was thinking. Or maybe he was thinking the very same thing.

He walked over to her, closing the small distance between them.

"You know I had that under control. I could've taken care of that myself." She said head cocked to the side.

"I'm sure you did, Carter. Getting rid of unwanted suitors hasn't been a problem for you before. This would be what? The second one in 11 months?"

"Ten, but who's counting?"

He raised an eyebrow at her answer. She was sure he knew it hadn't been 11 months. But he wanted to tease her anyway. And how did he know about Beecher? She shook her head and smiled, not surprised at all, that he'd been watching her.

"I told you I'd be around. Did you think I'd break my promise?"

"No. I'm well aware that you keep them. What are you doing here, John?"

"About to offer you a ride home if you want. Or did you have somewhere else in mind?" He asked when she didn't seem keen on the idea.

She looked at her watch; it was just after 11pm. And having a night to herself without having to worry about Taylor being alone, she wasn't ready to go home as yet.

"Surprise me." She said smiling.

He led her across the street to his motorcycle. Carter smiled as he held out a helmet to her. After she put it on he handed her his jacket.

"It's going to get cold on the back of the bike. Wouldn't want you to freeze now, would we?"

She slipped it on and zipped it up and got on in the back of him.

"Hold onto me." He said before starting the bike. She slid her arms around him and leaned into him pressing herself in as close as possible.

It felt surreal to be on the back of a bike with him, having not seen him for so long. But an odd energy came over her suddenly and there was no other place she'd rather be. She tightened her grip on him as he sped up a little zipping through traffic. They rode for about fifteen minutes till they got onto Baxter Street. The area was familiar, a friend of hers used to live there a few years ago.

He parked the bike and he got off, turning to help her onto the pavement.

She took the helmet off and looked around. "Where are we going, John?"

"This is my place." He answered. "Come on." She followed him inside the building and onto the elevator till they go to the fourth floor. They rode it in silence but she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. How was it she never noticed….appreciated how beautiful he was before?

He let her out of the elevator first, and then quickly opened the door. He stood aside and let her go in before him.

"Wow. This is really nice, John." She said once the lights were on. She walked a few steps in looking around at the open space. She was impressed. "This is…..very you." She said turning around once more. She took of his jacket and rested it on the back of the couch.

He had barely spoken since he'd picked her up outside the restaurant. She wondered what was going on inside his head.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I've been good." He walked over to where she was standing in the middle of the room. "What about you?"

"You know me. I do what I have to do." She said feeling nervous as he reached out and held her hand linking his fingers with hers. "And I….."

His other hand winded up behind her neck and he touched the bare skin there. She felt her breath catch in her throat and looked up at him. His face was so close she couldn't finish her sentence. She didn't want to.

Reese bent his head down and kissed her. Carter had replayed the kiss on the pier in her head a million times, but this one was better. Her lips opened up beneath his and he darted his tongue inside her mouth. She put her hands behind his neck and leaned into him. His kiss was deep and forceful, his mouth seeking. She felt her body getting hot all over.

His lips lifted off of hers to find her neck where he planted kissed straight down it. She closed her eyes as pure sensation overcame her. Her whole body was responding to him. She put her hands on his back, running them over it, enjoying the hardness of the muscles she found there. She heard him groan against her neck slightly and he found her lips again.

He put his arms around her lifting her up against him roughly. She was excited at the force with which he gripped her and she bit at his lower lip before thrusting her tongue into his mouth again.

He took her over to the bed and set her down right at the edge. His fingers found the zipper at the back of her dress and he broke the kiss to look into her eyes, almost as if asking permission to go on. She nodded slightly and he unzipped the dress letting the delicate fabric fall to the floor.

She stood there in her underwear and he took in the full sight of her, his eyes moving over the caramel skin of her taut belly, and beautiful thighs. He dropped to his knees, taking off her shoes and she held onto his shoulders as she stepped out of them.

He kissed her belly. His tongue flicked against her, causing her to gasp and she put her hands at the nape of his neck fisting them in his short hair. He kissed her through her panties, his tongue briefly touched her clit through her panties and she cried out. She could already feel herself getting wet. He reached around her waist and pulled them off of her so he could touch her bare skin.

He stood up to help her out of her bra and lowered her onto the bed. He quickly got out of his clothing and Carter looked up at him appreciating his physique. She held out her arms to him. She wanted nothing else in this moment than for him to be near her.

He claimed her mouth once more and she loved the feeling of his growing erection being pressed into her. She gripped his shoulders as he lowered his mouth to the peaks of her nipples sucking and licking on them. She arched her back towards him, feeling the stubble of his face against her breasts. He kissed the valley between her breasts, his tongue trailed down to her stomach once more and his hands travelled between her thighs and moved over her clit.

She started to call out his name, but she couldn't speak anymore as his mouth found its way between her legs. He licked against her, pushing her legs apart to allow himself more room.

"Oh John…..." She cried out as he slipped his tongue inside her, sliding it in and out as her body began to tremble. He circled her clit over and over, then he slid his tongue along the length of her over and over before slipping it back inside.

He loved the scent of her. He found it intoxicating in his nostrils, on his tongue. He kissed the insides of her thighs, which were now wet. She was ready, her body rocking from side to side.

She pulled him up to kiss him, tasting herself on his lips, sucking hungrily on his tongue. She gripped his face frantically, pulling him closer and closer. He was incredibly turned on, and so was she.

He spread her thighs, pulling her closer and slipped inside her quickly with force. She cried out at his entry and grabbed at his back. Her breath caught.

"Joss….." He said quietly and she connected her eyes to his.

"John….." She whispered back, somehow knowing he wanted her to see him in this moment. He started to move inside her, slowly at first, but deeply, stretching her out. He ground his hips into her, raising her legs higher and higher so he could gain full entry.

She could barely breathe as he put his hands under her butt to meet his thrusts which were coming quicker now. She felt filled up and overflowing with him. His thrusts were so deep and he never took his eyes off her.

Carter was in a daze. She couldn't believe he knew exactly where to touch, where to kiss, where to stroke to make her whole body feel like she was on fire. She'd spent ten months thinking about this, wanting this, dreaming about this.

Her body began to tremble against him, she felt herself close to coming under the force of him inside her.

"John…..you feel so good." She groaned and held onto him tighter.

"I've waited for this Joss…..for so long…." It felt so good to know that he'd been thinking of her as much as she thought of him. He kissed her again, just in time to feel her vibrate as he plunged inside her. She arched her back against him her orgasm overtaking her entire body.

She whimpered helplessly against him and he buried his face in her neck plunging into her over and over again, until he tensed on top of her, his orgasm meeting hers.

He stay inside her, kissing on her neck, her cheeks, her eyes, her mouth. She held onto him tightly, not wanting him to move.

When he finally did, it was to roll over so she could lie on top of him. He drew the covers over them both and relaxed with her on his chest.

She finally felt satisfied, spent; she didn't realize how quickly she'd fallen asleep. And she slept soundly. It was the best sleep she'd had in months.

She woke up a few hours later and he was still asleep beside her in the bed. She planted a kiss on hit temple and he reached out for her pulling her close. She knew they'd have a lot to talk about in the morning, but for now, she was enjoying the feel of him against her and the safety of falling asleep in his arms.


	3. No Words Needed

_**A/N Thanks for being patient while I took forever to update this. Here's the latest installment. Enjoy and leave reviews. :-) P. S. I don't own Person of Interest or its characters. lol Thanks for all the love for this fic! Love you guys. And Happy Valentine's Day!**_

* * *

Carter woke up slowly, peeling her eyes open one by one and waited till they adjusted to the small amount of light coming in from the windows. She wondered why it was still so dark when John had no curtains. She glanced at her watch on the nightstand by the bed and realized it was almost 8am. It should definitely be brighter than this.

She looked at the window again and saw a faint flash of lightning in the distance. The sky was filled with dark gray clouds and just then a clap of thunder was heard bringing with it the first downpour of a rainstorm. The clear drops beat against the windows of the loft and the sound lent itself to the lazy mood she felt right now.

She looked over at John next to her, his arm still draped across her torso. He'd held her all night. She appreciated the fact that though he was a tough guy, a badass as Taylor once described, he was also an epic cuddler. She smiled and slowly moved out from under him, not wanting to wake him up. She tousled her hair a bit, and walked over to the window looking outside. The streets were still busy, traffic carrying on as if the weather meant nothing and there was a sea of umbrellas as people walked the streets. She loved New York she thought, thinking of her offer from the FBI. If she accepted their offer, she'd probably have to leave.

How would John react to her offer? He knew about the initial one that Donnelly had made and had encouraged her to take it, but he wasn't aware of her second one. Maybe he was, she thought again. He had a habit of listening to her daily conversations before, she wasn't sure that ten months apart had changed much. And he did admit that he had been watching. If he did know, she wondered how he'd react given what had happened to them both just months before.

She put her hands up to the window feeling the coolness on her palm and thought about last night. The way he touched her, the way he felt, how good they were together. He'd thought about it the same way she had, he admitted. He had been waiting as much as she had been. She closed her eyes and heard his footsteps as he walked over to the window behind her, sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her against his hard body.

"Mmmmmmm….." She purred as he buried his face into her neck. His hands dropped from her waist and trailed along her thighs and ass and he kissed her just at the nape of her neck.

Lightning flashed again, this time almost in front of the window it seemed and she jumped. Not simply from that, but because John's hand was between her legs, spread over her, massaging her and his other hand was cupping her breast.

"Well good morning, John." She whispered coyly. He didn't answer her, but she felt his growing erection at the small of her back and she smiled. He was a man of few words, she knew.

She moaned again as he continued to move his hand between her legs, over her opening and over her clit. That combined with his lips on her neck and his fingers squeezing her nipple and she was weak against him. Her knees were getting wobbly. He continued to press her butt into his erection, his need and desire for her was evident without him speaking.

She turned around to take him in her hands, stroking him in her palm. She missed the feel of his hand on her clit, but she wanted to return the favour. She walked him back over to the bed and made him sit once they got to the edge. She knelt before him and bent her head taking him into her mouth.

She heard him inhale and she felt his hands all over her back as she went down on him, sucking at him, sliding her tongue over the full length of him. He was hard, pulsing, and slick and she loved the feel of him in her mouth. She looked up to see his lower belly quiver and she smiled as she heard him grunt.

His fingers dug into her shoulders and he gasped as her tongue danced over the head before she took him all once more.

Reese felt he was going crazy as she teased him, for a bit, teased the edges, stroked his shaft, then took him whole all over again. Her mouth was warm on him, soft, so sweet. It was a beautiful kind of torture.

Finally he pulled her up, dragging her towards him in the centre of the bed. He wanted to be inside her. Carter moved over him straddling his thighs and took him in her hands, and she settled slowly over him as he pushed up inside her. She closed her eyes the same time he did and ground her hips onto him before she started to move in a rhythm.

Reese looked at the vision on top of him; she looked absolutely beautiful, even more so as her face showed the pleasure she was feeling as she slid up and down on him. Her hair hung wildly over her shoulders as she leaned forward over him and he thought it was the most breathtaking sight he'd ever seen. He reached up to squeeze her nipples and watched as her tongue darted out to drag itself over her bottom lip.

He grabbed her hands pulling her down to his chest so he could taste her mouth. She mashed her lips against his cradling his head in her embrace and she moaned into his mouth as he pushed up into her, thrusting as she ground her hips into him. He ran his hands along her back, roaming them over her soft body, wanting to touch every inch of her, wanting to fold himself into her.

He sucked on her bottom lip, nipping it, capturing it between his teeth, then he darted his tongue inside her mouth. She slid her tongue against his and he let out a low groan. She was just as passionate as he'd imagined.

She quickened her pace on top of him, both of them frenzied for release. She sat up straight again, pressing her hands into his lower stomach for balance and rode him hard and fast. Her face contorted as she neared orgasm and he grabbed onto her waist as he started to thrust deeper into her.

She moved quickly for the last time before she tensed up and he felt the exact moment she began to vibrate on his cock. The sensation of her sucking him in, moving over him sent him over the edge and he pulled her to his chest to bury his face in her neck.

She held onto him tightly, both of them engulfed in waves of passion.

"Ooooooh John…" she whispered against his neck. "Mmmmmm….." she could do nothing but purr.

"Good morning." She heard him finally say and laughed.

"Now you decide to talk." She said looking down at him, smiling. She traced the edges of his eyebrows, the bridge of his nose and then his mouth before planting a kiss there. "You do know we have to talk about some things." She said.

"I know. But we don't have to talk…right…..now." He said accenting the last two words with kisses.

He rolled her over so that he was on top. She was amazed that he was ready to make love to her again so quickly. But she wasn't complaining. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so desired and so turned on.

He took his time on her. He made it his mission to acquaint himself with every part of her body, literally from her head to her toes. He turned her on her stomach to kiss her back and shoulders, her butt, and down the back of her thighs, and when he was done he put her on her back again to sweetly torture her other side.

Her nipples were licked and sucked, her stomach caressed and kissed and when he parted her thighs to slip his tongue between her legs she felt thoroughly reduced to a trembling mess.

When he finally made love to her and was inside her again, she felt a wave of breaking tide sweep over her. He didn't take his eyes off of her the entire time and because of that, she felt as if he was all in; as if he was here in the moment and there was no other place he wanted to be.

She felt taken care of, she felt safe and she felt like they connected without speaking.

They slept and they made love and they showered and slept again. They woke hours later and it was early evening. The heavy rain was now a drizzle and it was getting darker outside. Reese threw on a pair of boxer briefs and some worn jeans and went into the kitchen to look for something for them to eat and she slipped into one of his shirts and sat on the bed.

He walked out of the kitchen with a beer in his hand, handing it to her.

"Thanks." She said taking a drink. He went back into the kitchen and she could hear him opening and closing both the fridge and the cupboards.

"Well everything in there is going to take a while to prepare. How bout take out?" He suggested.

"Okay." Said Joss. "Chinese?"

He smiled and nodded, picking up his phone and placing an order. He took her hand and led her over to the couch and they sat down together.

"How long have you had this place?" She asked looking around.

"Not that long." He replied. "It was a gift. For my birthday last year."

"This is one hell of a birthday gift, John. This is amazing." She said smiling and looked at him. She remembered that they needed to talk and sobered up. "Ten months, John." She said. "I haven't seen you in ten months."

She watched as his expression darkened a bit, but she continued.

"I know you said we had to be careful, not see each other for a bit, but after five months I started thinking maybe I'd never see you again."

"I wanted you to be safe, Joss. If Donnelly had even the slightest hint that you knew who I was, you'd lose so much. I didn't want to risk it."

"And I understand that, but….."

"There wasn't one day that I didn't think of you, or wanted to call you, but you'd already risked too much."

She shook her head.

"Finch told me what you did, the DNA, my fingerprints. I didn't want to think about what it meant….could mean."

He hadn't felt anything for anyone since Jessica and initially he wasn't sure if he was capable of feeling anything for anyone anymore. Those hours in that interrogation room with her had bonded them in a way he'd never imagined. He felt connected to her now in a way he couldn't explain. It terrified him, because he knew how things ended with Jessica, but at the same time, he felt it was what he needed. She was what he needed and he hadn't realized it until now.

As much as it hurt to leave Jessica behind, he'd made himself do it. She knew nothing about his work with the CIA, the monster he'd become once their relationship had ended. Kara had told him how she wanted to reach out to her family, but she knew they'd never understand the work that she did, he doubted if Jessica would accept what he did for the government either.

But Joss knew him. She knew what he'd done for the CIA. She knew about Jessica, and she knew about Peter. She saw him for who he was. She accepted him and she understood him. She didn't see him as a monster. She saw good in him when he believed it had died with Jessica and he couldn't see himself walking away from her.

"I know you don't think you deserved it, my help. But I had to get you out. I just…..I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. And it was stupid and reckless, but …..it was worth it. Truth be told we got ourselves in this mess together. I, when I ran your fingerprints after we first met and you when you refused to lay low when I told you Donnelly was back."

He put his hand on her arm squeezing it.

"I wish I could have done something when you were out in the yard with those Aryans." She said and he smirked. "A part of me wanted you to kick their asses, but a part of me knew you couldn't. It wasn't easy to watch. Or think about."

_**Even now**_, she thought, but didn't say. He bent his head to kiss her, slipping his hand in the back of her neck. She put her hands on his bare chest, feeling light headed and dizzy from the feel of his lips on hers. He started to pull her onto his lap when there was a knock on the door and the food arrived.

He paid for the food and they both dug in. She didn't realize how hungry she was and they both devoured most of the food. Reese cleared away the containers, not letting her help and emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later with vanilla ice cream with chocolate fudge drizzled over it. She squealed in delight when she saw it.

"I never pictured you as the ice cream type, John."

"Are you kidding? This is my favourite." He said a warm smile on his face.

They watched a little TV together and enjoyed an old war movie on HBO. Later they saw a documentary on U.S. Army training that had them both reminiscent of their military days and they ended up trading stories. She lay cuddled in his arms, relaxed against him thinking how surreal this all felt.

It was shortly before 10pm when she finally got Taylor and her mom on the phone. She spent a few minutes catching up making sure their trip was okay when she felt Reese softly kiss her neck. He wanted her again. And she hung up her call and surrendered to his kiss and he bent down to claim her mouth first, then her body.

He was not gentle this time. But demanding, greedy and just the right amount of rough to shock her and turn her on at the same time.

He took her powerfully, thrusting into her with need and passion that filled her up to overflowing. He gripped her firmly almost as if he feared she'd run away from him if he didn't hold on to her tightly enough.

She called his name over and over again, her body overtaken in waves of pleasure. He wouldn't stop kissing her, he wouldn't stop filling her and with every thrust he felt closer to her. He wouldn't let her go.

Her release came with force and her cries were loud in her throat, and he watched her, enjoying the look on her face and the sound in his ears.

She clawed at his back sinking her fingers into his flesh and he groaned and he ground into her releasing himself into her finally, he groaned, low and deep.

"Joss…..Joss….Joss….." He whispered over and over.

He raised her legs up and she put them around his back. She rubbed her hands over his shoulders as she kissed him.

He held her for a while and neither of them spoke, but after a while she sensed that something was a little off.

"John?"

"Yes…."

"What is it?"

She heard him sigh. "I'm waiting for you, Joss."

"What do you mean?"

He was silent for a short while then finally spoke again. "Don't you have something to tell me?"

"I'm guessing you heard my conversation with Fusco yesterday." She deduced, but he didn't respond. She sat up in bed and looked down on him. "They made a formal offer, sent a letter to the precinct. I haven't thought about it yet."

"Better pay, better benefits….." He said, mirroring Fusco's comments to her.

"I know. But I'd have to leave New York."

"Yes."

She lay back down beside him and threw her leg over his and put an arm over his chest. He pulled her in closer, knowing that he didn't want her to leave the state, but not wanting her to feel obligated to stay because of him.

"What do you think I should do?"

He shook his head not wanting to answer. After the time they'd just spent together, everything he would say to her right now would be selfish. If this was something she really wanted, he didn't want to persuade her otherwise.

Carter settled into his arms. He didn't answer her question; he probably didn't have an answer she thought. It wasn't a light decision in front of her and there were many factors to consider. Her leaving would affect her and Taylor and John as well.

They both had a lot to think about.


	4. Stay

_A/N This last and final chapter of EF is a long time coming. I wasn't quite sure how to end it and finally got some inspiration in the last few days. This one is a rather long read. I thought about splitting it into two separate chapters, but decided against it. I hope that's okay. The whole fic was very fun to write and I appreciated all the feedback from everyone who wrote it. Thanks to Amy for a great idea she gave to use in the story. Amazing I tell ya._

_I don't own Person of Interest or any of its characters. Enjoy this last one. (I'm gonna miss this fic!)_

* * *

_Finch, Reese and Leon all emerged from the warehouse a mere minute before it exploded. They took cover behind the old beat up white van they arrived in, as debris and ash fell down around them. They stayed crouched to the ground, as the fire died down and smoke billowed from the destroyed structure and Finch stared at Reese, his expression unreadable right now._

_Leon was the first to utter a word, a throaty laugh erupted from him and he stood to his feet clapping his hands, a huge grin on his face. His glee after what had happened annoyed Reese who got up and helped Finch to stand._

"_You did it, man. You did it again. You are amazing!" Leon exclaimed, patting Reese on the shoulder._

"_Leon do you think it's humanly possible for you to stay out of trouble? This is the third time in less than a year." Reese dusted off his coat, removing dust particles from the lapel. Leon looked at Reese almost apologetically noting the cut on his lip and a bruised cheek, but he was determined to stay in a good mood._

"_Next time I promise to be more careful. This is the last you'll hear from me, I promise. Can I have my money now?" He asked, hand extended, looking from Reese to Finch._

_Reese looked at Finch with vacant eyes and pressed his lips together. Finch handed Leon a small satchel which he quickly unzipped, gleefully happy to see his money still inside, untouched. "That'll teach Winston. He won't underestimate me again."_

"_Goodbye Leon." Reese said tapping him on the chest, a little harder than necessary. "Finch." _

_They both watched him walk off. Leon was puzzled._

"_Hey don't you want a ride home?" He screamed after Reese who kept walking and didn't turn around to respond. "Hey, what's up with your friend?" He asked Finch._

"_What do you mean Mr. Tao?"_

"_I don't know. I guess you're used to it, but he seems a bit more subdued than normal. Something behind his eyes…." _

_Finch knew exactly what Leon was referring to. It had been approximately four months since Reese had been out of Rikers, and though everything else was business as usual, John wasn't. He was mechanical in his interactions, it was almost as if he'd disconnected somehow. He wasn't a highly emotional person, but every quip, sarcastic remark, conversation, felt empty, hollow since he'd been released. He wondered at his state of mind after being incarcerated, but Reese had insisted that he was fine. _

_Harold doubted it, however. He also noted that he'd distanced himself from Detective Carter. He left all of the contact and communication to Harold when it came to her. He assumed he felt some sort of guilt over her having to risk so much to ensure his release. Maybe he felt he had to protect her somehow. Whatever it was, it hadn't gotten in the way of them helping the numbers, not yet. So he didn't feel it needed to be addressed at the moment._

"_I think Mr. Reese should be the least of your worries. What you need to figure out is how you plan to hide Mr. Bevan's money."_

_They both climbed into the van and Leon started the engine._

"_Oh, don't you worry, I have a plan. As for your friend, I think he takes himself too seriously. Maybe he needs a date. I dated this girl once named Candy….."_

* * *

"Good morning, Finch…." It was just after 6am when his phone rang and he picked it up quickly so it wouldn't disturb Joss. She lay snuggled against him, head on his chest and her beautiful skin was a warm contrast next to his. The sunrise crept into his loft casting a warm glow over them both. He ran his hand lightly along her bare back smiling at her as she stirred a bit.

"Mr. Reese, we have a new number."

"I'll be there soon." Reese hung up the phone and looked over at Joss as she slept. He hated having to leave her, but there was work to do. He planted a soft kiss on her shoulder before heading for the shower.

He heard Finch's voice in his ear remembering a conversation they had just a few weeks ago. They were in the library discussing a new number.

"_Is everything all right, Mr. Reese?" _

"_I'm fine Finch."_

"_Are you sure? It's probably a little late to be asking since you've been out of Rikers for a few months, but…I've noticed you seem….stressed…."_

"_Stressed?"_

"…_..for lack of a better word, yes." _

"_Stressed…..after what happened at Rikers, right now stressed is an understatement Finch, but_ _I'm working through it. Thanks for asking."_

Working with Kara he'd done many horrible things. Things that would have broken the average man. But he wasn't average and he'd never given a thought to how those horrible things made him feel. Feelings were a non factor. They had no place in his world, his life or his job.

But this new life of his was different. This wasn't a war zone. He wasn't behind enemy lines, this was New York. But finding a middle ground between how he was used to acting with Kara and how he should act now wasn't easy.

The hot water ran over his body and his muscles welcomed the heat. He lathered himself with soap, hating that he was washing Joss' scent off of him. Memories of yesterday and the night before ran through his mind.

He'd stayed away from her for ten months. It was one of the most difficult things he'd ever done. He'd felt different after Rikers and not for the better. He was free of prison; free of Donnelly, but a part of him was still trapped somewhere between the interrogation room at the prison and later on by the pier when he'd gone to see Carter. He couldn't seem to move on from there.

He'd watched her afterwards, he was sure Finch was aware, but they'd never spoken of it. He even followed her a few times. He watched her at home, spending time with Taylor, sometimes at a crime scene with Fusco. He listened to audio of her from the doll cam on Fusco's desk and watched her while she worked. But it hadn't been enough.

Sometimes he thought he waited too long to contact her after Donnelly had gone, but a part of him was afraid to compromise her. When he'd heard her talking about her offer from the FBI to join them, he felt a sudden urgency. He had to see her, had to be near her. Had to know if she really wanted to leave after all.

Now she was half asleep in his bed curled under his sheets and they'd spent the last day and a half pouring themselves into each other, with words and without. Every pent up emotion he'd held in was spent inside her.

Now what?

He didn't know.

Things had changed. Undeniably so. Things could never be the same again.

He didn't want her to leave.

He needed her in his life.

But what could he give her truly? He pondered that question wondering if he was good enough.

Was he good enough for her?

Was he good enough for Taylor?

He stepped out from under the shower and grabbed a towel getting out of the tub. He dried himself off and brushed his teeth. When he got out of the bathroom he saw that she was awake now, watching him as he walked across the floor to sit beside her on the bed.

"Good morning." He said, and bent down to kiss her neck. His wet hair dripped a little onto her skin and she squealed, but put her arms around his shoulders and back, hugging him.

"Good morning, John." She said, her voice was still tinged with sleep. "You smell good."

"Hmmm….so do you." he said kissing her forehead. "I've got to go."

"A new case?" She asked and he nodded. "I figured." She said and sat up straight, the sheet falling to her waist and he took in the sight of her.

"You're not making it easy for me to leave, Joss." He smiled as she pulled the sheet up to cover herself with a sheepish grin.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not." He replied. "I'd love for you to be here when I get back." She smiled and his eyes were transfixed on her mouth, the lovely curve, her plump bottom lip and the way her cheekbones formed into perfect round apples.

"I don't know, John. I need to go home and change and besides….you have no idea when you actually _**will**_ be back."

He got up, walking over to his wardrobe and took out his underwear and socks and started to get dressed. She sat and watched him and drew her knees under her chin, resting her head on them, fascinated by his movements; how he slid into his boxer briefs, putting on his socks one by one, his shirt, and pants, and then his shoes.

He walked over to her and she knelt on the bed. She smoothed the lapel of his jacket and looked up at him.

"I'll call you." he kissed the very tip of her nose and she nodded as he walked out. He heard her chuckle softly as he slipped outside the door.

* * *

Carter lay down for a few more minutes, thinking how good John's bed felt. She felt so at home there and didn't want to leave. She smiled at his comment about her being there when he returned. She lay back for a minute, wiggling her toes and decided she'd take him up on his offer.

The bed, its sheets and pillows put up a valiant fight, but she eventually got up and headed for the bathroom. She lathered up the soap, feeling the warm water on her skin and relaxed. She looked around and her eyes rested on the shower caddy in front of her. She saw something familiar, but….

"It couldn't be…." She reached out and grabbed a small bottle of….. "Jasmine. _**'Alicia's**_ _**Jasmine'**_." She shook her head and smiled. "John…." It was the very brand of jasmine that she used in her bath water and the shower. She didn't even try to guess how he knew which one she used but it made her feel a little special knowing he'd gone out of his way to find out.

He was so good at remembering the little things. It was certainly one of his best qualities. And there were many. He'd most likely deny that there was any good left in him, but she'd witnessed time and again, that that part of him wasn't lost at all.

So he knew about her offer from the bureau. He hadn't answered when she asked him what he thought she should do last night. She truly wanted his opinion; she needed to know where his head was at concerning them. But she had other things to consider.

Would Taylor want to leave school? Their family, his friends? How much would he be affected by such a move?

She knew she'd have to tell him about the offer right away. He deserved a say in her decision since it affected him too. She just stepped out of the tub when her cell phone rang. She picked it up checking the caller ID.

_Unknown number. _

Only two people regularly called her from a blocked number.

"Hello, John" she practically purred his name, a wide smile on her face.

"I wondered if you'd gone back to sleep."

"Naw. I just got outta the shower. I'm about to head home though."

"Before you leave, there's a key on the nightstand you might want to take with you. You know…..just in case you wanted to come back later on."

She walked over to it and picked up the lone key, holding it up between two fingers. A spare key was normally a big deal. But she didn't know if he meant it to be one just yet.

"John….."

"I have to go, Joss. We'll talk when I get back." he said, his voice soft and reassuring.

"Ok." She said hanging up and started to get dressed.

Fifteen minutes later she was out the door and walking out of his building. Another twenty minutes later, she was getting out of the back of a cab and walking up the steps to her front door. She got undressed and put on some comfortable shorts and a tank top. After putting her hair into a messy ponytail and putting her dress away, she turned on some music and did a little housework.

She talked to Taylor and her mother again. They were enjoying themselves thoroughly and Taylor wasn't quite ready to come home. They'd only been gone for two days and she missed having her baby at home, hanging out with him in the evenings and on Sundays when she had them off. She was looking forward to seeing him when he finally got back. She said her goodbyes and got off the phone, deciding that she'd head back to John's place early, maybe fix dinner for when he returned.

She walked into her room to pack an overnight bag. She threw in some underwear, a change of clothes for the evening and something to wear on Monday morning and afternoon. She opened her lingerie drawer and rummaged through it. It was filled to the brim with assorted teddies, thongs, nightgowns, baby dolls, even peignoirs, but she hadn't felt the need to wear any of them for a long time. The poor items were basically collecting dust. She picked up a rich burgundy fabric and held up a teddy in her hand. There was lace over the bust and in front and sheer fabric on the sides and in back. It really left little to the imagination. She decided to throw it in. Maybe she'd even wear it tonight.

She was about to close the drawer when something caught her eye. She slid her hand back inside and pulled out the old photo of John and Jessica together. His smile was bright, reaching his eyes, their shoulders and arms touching. He looked so happy, and so did she. They looked like the perfect couple. Made for each other.

She'd almost forgotten that she had it. She sat down heavily on the bed, staring at it in her hand and pressed her lips together. She always kept it and planned to give it to him eventually. The timing however never seemed right. It had been almost three years now since her death but John had been living in Jessica's shadow the entire time. Would she now have to do the same?

* * *

"Detective, John needs our help. I lost contact with him a short while ago and I need you to go and find him."

She'd gotten the call from Finch fifteen minutes ago and now she was walking towards an abandoned warehouse, her gun drawn, slowly walking inside. It was dark outside the building. No cars were parked out front or in the back. As far as she could tell, the place was empty. She shone her flashlight in the short hallway till she got to the large area in back.

Her eyes adjusted to the dark and she heard a muffled sound to her far left. She swung round quickly and the flashlight picked up the sight of a man bound tightly to a chair, a gag in his mouth. Walking closer she recognized John's face and quickly moved to untie him. His eyes showed relief at the sight of her.

"I see you got tied up." She said removing the gag from his mouth.

"Actually I was thinking we could play a little game till the bad guys came back."

"Interesting idea for foreplay John. You wanna stay in that chair?" She asked pausing with the rope held up in her hands.

His phone rang then and he answered it while putting an arm around her shoulder. "Finch, yeah I'm okay. Carter's here. Where's the girl?" They both walked outside together and to her car. Reese slid into the driver's seat while Carter got in on the passenger's side.

"She's with Detective Fusco right now at the precinct."

"And Damian?"

"Shot while he was trying to pursue them both."

"Good. You can tie up the other loose ends can't you?"

"Yes, I can handle it from here, Mr. Reese."

He disconnected the call and let out a sigh. "Thanks." He said looking at her while he started the engine. She nodded her head and they drove back to his place.

Reese took his jacket off, and walked into the kitchen opening the fridge. He got out a beer taking a long drink from the bottle and looked around noticing the dinner she cooked which was now cold.

"Sorry about dinner. It looks like it was good." He said putting the bottle down and pulling her towards him as he leaned on the counter.

"Didn't get a chance to eat it though. Finch called as a soon as I was done."

"Thanks again for coming to the rescue."

"You're welcome." She said looking up at him. He smiled down at her.

"Just like old times." His choice of words made her think of the photograph again. He took her hand leading her over to the couch and he sat down pulling her onto his lap.

"Speaking of old times…..you didn't answer me last night, when I asked what you thought of my job offer."

"I think that….you're an excellent Detective and you'd make a damn good FBI agent, Joss. I think it'd be a great opportunity for you, career wise. If it's what you want, you should seriously consider it."

"That's an incredibly politically correct response John. Thank you. But I need to know what you really think."

She hated that he was so suddenly quiet. His gaze was intense and she could tell he wanted to say something, but he wouldn't. She shook her head and got up from his lap and walked over to the window.

"John…the last few days…me and you…..it's been beautiful. And I wouldn't take it back for anything."

"Neither would I."

"Rikers was….intense, it was emotional…..it was …like nothing I can describe. What happened in that interrogation room was deeply personal, I mean….hell I felt like I needed you as much as you needed me."

"I know."

"But see, is that what this is? Is this just all those feelings that were bottled up after Rikers? After us not seeing each other for so long? Is that really all this is?"

"What are you asking me?" his hand was on her shoulder, but she couldn't look at him.

"I'm saying that I feel more for you than friendship, it's deeper than that. But maybe after we both come down from this _high_…maybe you wouldn't mind if things went back to being 'just like old times'."

"Joss….."

"…You and Finch working together and Fusco and I helping you two out, like nothing ever happened…..maybe that's what you want?"

She looked into his eyes finally, scared of what she might find there.

"I don't. I don't want that. We can never go back to the way things were before. Too much has changed between us." He slipped his hand in the back of her neck. His touch so warm there, she almost felt like abandoning this conversation, but she knew they needed to have it.

"And what about Jessica?"

"What does she have to do with this?"

She walked over to the bed and took the photo out of her overnight bag, handing it to him. She watched as his eyes moved over it, and she knew he was replaying that day in his mind, that moment and how he had felt. His eyes became clouded, dark and reminiscent.

He was on leave. He'd just come back to the US and she came to meet him at the base. He'd picked her up off her feet and kissed her. He remembered her squeals of delight at seeing him again and the grip of her arms around his shoulders. They'd gone out for something to eat and she insisted on ordering those ridiculous fruity drinks for them. Their waiter had taken the picture.

"How long have you had this?" He asked quietly.

"Around the same time Marshall Jennings went missing. Now seemed like the right time to give it to you."

"Joss…" He saw the expression on her face and sighed. "I know what you're thinking. I was lost for a long time. I probably would've been dead a long time ago, if Finch hadn't found me. I felt like I had nothing to live for. But things are different now. I'm different." He held the photo up in his hand and both of them stared at it together. "I'm not the same person I was in this photo." He said and walked over to the coffee table and set the photo face down on top of it. He walked back over to her, and put his hands on her arms. "And you've been a big part of that. You _are_ a big part of that."

"I just…"

"Come here." He said pulling her close to him. His fingers brushed the back of her neck and his thumbs grazed her cheeks. "Come here." He said and bent his head down, brushing his lips against hers. Her hands went around his back and she forgot about leaving for the moment. His kiss turned hard, and he sucked at her lips, darting his tongue between them, sliding it against her own tongue.

"Stay with me tonight, Joss. Please. Don't go home." His voice was rasping and his lips were soft, pressed to her cheek, her neck, then on her lips again. She felt herself surrendering to his request. She couldn't deny him. Her own body demanded she stay.

"Okay." She said nodding.

"I need you." He said pulling her into his arms. "I need you."

His hands were busy undoing the buttons on her shirt and he paused at the flash of colour underneath. She was wearing the teddy.

"What's this?" his eyebrows were raised and he pulled her shirt over her arms. "A little something to go with dinner I guess." His smile was toothy, and his fingers continued their work.

Her head cocked to the side as he finished undressing her, and he stepped back taking in the sight of her. She could tell he was pleased. His hands traced the path of the lace; his palms moved over her breasts, down her stomach and then rested on her hips.

It had only been two days since they'd first been intimate and already she craved his touch. What was she to do?

Just as he'd undressed her, she returned the favour, taking off his shirt and jacket at first, then his pants, till he was standing before her in his underwear.

Their clothing lay discarded on the ground as they lay in bed with their limbs intertwined. As passionate as he'd been before, this time he was sensual. His fingers felt like the soft tips of a feather along her skin. His tongue and mouth like silk folding and unfolding over her body.

Their moans were deep, their breath shallow, hot, quick. He uttered her name, deep in his throat as he sank into her; the solitary syllable sounded like it was being dragged over hot gravel. She grabbed hungrily, desperately at him. Each stroke was filling, deep, strong and he pounded into her with such need, and she felt him all the way to the nerve endings in her scalp.

She felt he was trying to communicate to her what he couldn't in words. She felt swallowed up by him, consumed by his passion. Later as she was snuggled tightly against him, a feeling of complete contentment passed over her just before she fell asleep for the first time in six months.

She found herself on the other side of the bed in the middle of the night. Having noticed her absence from his arms, Reese moved closer to her, pulling her to his chest. His arm settled around her stomach and he seemed to fall back to sleep quickly.

She woke up the next morning before he did. She had planned to stay until evening, but she looked at his sleeping form beside her and decided to leave. She got dressed quickly and left closing the door softly behind her.

* * *

**TWO WEEKS LATER**

"Not that one Taylor baby. You know we don't eat that." Carter shook her head when Taylor was putting the wrong brand of whole wheat bread into their shopping cart.

"Amazing you can name all the characters in a Halo game but you can't pick out something as simple as a loaf of bread. Make sure to get two, you run through food like you've been starving on an island alone for years."

"What's got you so grumpy today Jocelyn?" Carter rolled her eyes at her mother's question. She was right though, she was irritated and wanted to hurry up and get out of the store.

"I don't know mom. I guess I just got a lot on my mind." She picked up some fruit out of the produce section, glad to see they had some cherries and picked up a bag.

"Still haven't decided what you want to do about the FBI offer I take it."

"No, I haven't."

"What has Taylor said?"

"Not much. And he hasn't wanted to discuss it at all really."

"How long is the training for again?"

"Twenty weeks and I'd be living on campus. I told Taylor he could stay with you while I'm training. But I don't like the idea of leaving him behind, not seeing him when I wanted to."

"Not to mention you're not sure where you'd be assigned when you're done."

"Right."

"Twenty weeks is a long time Jocelyn. It'd be almost like you being deployed again. He was young when you were away in Iraq and Afghanistan, so your absence didn't hurt him terribly. He's already lost his father, he's got me, but you're his mother. You're all he has. Five months away from him now though….I don't know."

Carter paused in the middle of picking up some eggs, an exasperated look on her face.

"You're just gonna break me down in the middle of the grocery store aren't you? You're doing it to me…a grown woman, mom." She shook her head as Taylor got back, still with the wrong loaf of bread.

She smiled at him. "Baby…..you tried."

She pushed the cart further up the aisle listening to her mother uttering under her breath.

"FBI? FBI? That boy needs a father figure in his life right now. A career can't keep you warm at night Jocelyn, you need a man."

"I can hear you, mom."

"I know you can."

* * *

Carter lifted the collar of her coat and pushed her hands into her pockets. She stood underneath the Queens Bridge and looked out over the water while she waited. Tiny streaks of light started to bounce over it and she thought nothing looked more beautiful.

She heard a car pull up and a door open and shut. Pretty soon she heard footsteps in the back of her and the shuffle of someone with a limp. She turned her head as Finch came to stand beside her.

"Sorry about the cold Detective. I'll pick an indoor place next time." He said, his lips upturned with a small smile.

"I forgive you Finch. She handed him the file that was tucked inside her coat. "Here's the info you wanted."

He opened it, looking it over. And they both turned as another car door opened and closed behind them. Carter's heart momentarily stopped as Reese walked towards them. Apparently he'd come with Finch, but he stayed in the car while he was on a call.

"Detective." He greeted her.

"John." She said. This was only the second time she'd seen him in the two weeks since she'd left his place. And the other time was case related, just like this one. Although this one was accidental.

They finished up discussing the new case they were working on and Finch turned to leave, heading back to the car.

"You know when you said you needed time to think, I didn't know you really meant you wanted time away from _me_."

"It's not what you think, John."

"I haven't seen you in two weeks. You've gone out of your way to avoid my calls. I'm wondering if you're simply avoiding me."

"I'm not. I'm just…..trying to decide what's best…for everybody. And I just need some time. That's all."

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to reach out and take his hand, but Finch was waiting and watching.

"Time's running out." He said.

_In more ways than one,_ she thought and she watched him get in the car next to Finch and they drove off.

* * *

"What is it Taylor, baby?" Carter asked. They were having dinner at home, but he'd been quiet all evening. "You wanna talk about it?"

He shrugged.

"Come on, spill it."

"Are you going to take the job with the FBI?"

"I haven't decided yet, why?"

"I don't want you to go. I know it'll be good for your career, but I feel like this is our home. We belong here."

"Is that right?" She reached across the table and squeezed his hand.

"Yeah. Besides I'm doing well in school and I don't want to leave. I know if I wanted to, you'd probably let me stay here with grandma, but I don't think we should split up either. I don't want us to. I need you here with me mom."

Once he said his piece, he went back to his meal like he just took the weight of the world off of his shoulders.

She lay in bed thinking of Reese. He said he wasn't the same person in the photo with Jessica and she believed him. She'd seen a lot of differences in him since their meeting in Lyric Diner when she first started working with him.

He told her that she'd been a part of the change in him. But how truly ready he was to move on from Jessica? She watched his face when she gave him the photo. The emotions that played across his face felt like a confirmation that things weren't quite over.

She reached for her cell phone on the nightstand next to the bed and started dialing his number. She changed her mind, setting it down on the bed. She rolled over, switching the lamp off and tried to go to sleep.

* * *

**SATURDAY 4:35PM**

**'_Holy Sepulchre Cemetery'_**

The large letters wrought in iron greeted John at the entrance of the graveyard and the crucifix at the centre of the banner seemed imposing. He was in New Rochelle, the first time he'd been back since his confrontation with Peter Arndt all those years ago.

He clutched the bouquet of white lilies in his hand as he made his way to Jessica's plot. He stared at the headstone with a baby cherub atop it and looked at her name in bold Old English lettering. He let out a ragged breath and his eyes filled with tears.

When the nurse told him that Jessica had died his life had instantly changed. Even after he'd broken into her home and fought with Peter he couldn't bring himself to visit her grave.

Almost three years later and he felt that it was time.

He bent down to rest the lilies in front of the headstone and reached out to run a gloved hand over the marble.

"I'm sorry Jessica. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I didn't get there in time." The tears began to sting his eyes and he allowed them to fall. He realized he was asking her for forgiveness, something he had wanted to do for years after they first broke up. Now she could never give it.

Or maybe she had.

Maybe he was the one who needed to forgive himself.

Carter's words from their meeting after he got out of Rikers echoed in his ears.

"**There's a lot of good in you. You are**_** still **_**a good man."**

He felt he had much to pay for, but the burden was getting too heavy for him. He finally realized in that moment that it was one he shouldn't carry anymore. He took out the photo of the two of them that Carter gave him. His hands shook while he held it.

"I have to leave you here, honey. I can't carry you with me anymore." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small trowel he brought with him and dug a small hole in front of the headstone just deep enough for the picture to go in. He closed his eyes and put it to his lips, then put it into the ground, covering it forever.

He stood up finally, taking his gloves off and wiping his face with a handkerchief. He found himself smiling as he thought of Carter.

"She's a good woman Jessica. I think you'd like her." He put a hand to his mouth, kissing it, and then touched the top of the headstone before turning away.

* * *

Reese got back from New Rochelle about forty minutes later. He went back to the library for a brief moment to check on Bear and spent a couple of minutes talking to Finch. There were no new numbers that evening, so he decided to get himself something to eat and head home.

He rode the elevator with Pad Thai take out in his hands. It was Carter's favourite he thought absently as well as Taylor's. He hadn't realized it at the time, or maybe he had but he wound up in her favourite restaurant too, ordering her usual.

He missed her, he thought as he got out of the elevator. It had been too long since he'd seen her and he knew she asked for time, but he couldn't stand the waiting any longer. He switched the bags to his right hand and turned the key in the lock opening it. He walked in closing the door behind him and sensed that somebody was there.

He turned around quickly, about to reach for his gun when he saw Carter coming out of the kitchen.

"Hi." She said and walked toward him. She looked nervous almost as she looked up at him.

"Hi. He said as she reached for the bags.

"Here, let me help you with that." They walked into the kitchen together and she unpacked the containers, putting them on the island. "You're probably wondering what I'm doing here." She said.

Truthfully he didn't want to question why, he was just happy that she was there.

"I wanted to thank you." she continued.

"For what?"

"For being patient with me. I shouldn't have shut you out. I said I needed time to think which was true, but I didn't mean to push you away like I did." She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and he was the one who was grateful she had been patient with him. He'd taken a long time to get here.

She slid her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I missed you." He said hoarsely. "I missed you a lot."

She looked up at him grinning and put her arm around his neck as she stood on her toes to kiss him. "I missed you too John."

"I got Pad Thai for dinner. Of course I had no idea you'd be stopping by but there's plenty for the two of us." He watched as she took up some of the food for them and they sat on the couch enjoying the meal.

They made small talk late into the night and he was glad to hear the sound of her laughter fill the open space of the loft once more. He missed her smiles, the curve of her lips, her cheeks, and the twinkle in her eye. He missed the sound of her voice, the way she dragged his name when she said it. Everything about her was precious to him.

He wondered if she had made up her mind yet.

"So have you come to a decision?"

"I've thought about it a lot. It's been on my mind practically every minute of every day. Taylor doesn't want me to go; he doesn't want to leave his school and his friends. My mother thinks I should pass on the offer too. I think it's a great opportunity, but I like my life here in New York, and I think…..I think I'd miss everybody too much."

"Everyone?" He said.

"You know John; it's occurred to me that…everyone has been trying to convince me to stay except you. Besides Fusco, you're the only one who's told me to go. I think that's what had me confused." She held her palm up to his face and he closed his eyes leaning into it. "What do you want, John? Really."

"You." He said looking her straight in the eye. "I want _you_, Joss. I don't want you to leave. I felt like I shouldn't want that. I shouldn't be selfish and say that, but, I want you to stay for me. Not for Taylor, or…your mom…..or because you can't leave this city. Stay. Stay for me."

He pulled her onto his lap then, hanging on her neck, his arms grasping at her, and there was desperation in his voice when he spoke again.

"I can't take it….if you leave. I need you here…..with me, Joss." He pressed his lips onto hers and sighed raggedly as her arms went around his neck.

It felt so good to have her back in his arms again. He had needed this; he had needed her for weeks. He wasted no time getting them both undressed and he pulled her onto his lap to straddle him. He kissed the hollow of her neck, the soft valley between her breasts. And he enjoyed the sweet sensation of her tongue moving passionately over his as she slid up and down the length of his cock. She ground herself against him and his fingers dug into the flesh of her bottom each time she moved.

His head was on the back of the chair, she was biting on his neck, her lips raked over every mark she made. Inside she felt like heaven. His hands roamed over her thighs, his fingers twisted her nipples and he was treated to his name being dragged over her tongue and lips.

He gripped her butt lifting her up and lay on top of her on the couch. With her leg raised over his back, he pounded into her till they both came to release and she held onto him screaming her orgasm as he bit at her bottom lip.

"Stay." He panted. "Stay, Joss."

Later on in the middle of the night they lay together in his bed and he was enjoying the light touch of her hand as she moved it across his face gently.

"Something changed, John. What happened?" She asked quietly.

"I went to New Rochelle. I went to Jessica's grave."

"Are you okay?" She asked and he pulled her hand into his own linking their fingers.

"Yes. I needed to say goodbye. I needed to move on. I needed to forgive myself."

"John…." She moved to kiss him.

"She was very important to me for a long time. But you're the one who's important to me now."

She smiled at him in the dark and kissed him again. "John…...would you do something for me?"

"Anything, Joss."

"Tell me about her. About Jessica."

"Well…we met when I was in…."

* * *

Fusco looked at Carter as she packed up her desk. Her shift was done and she had to hurry home.

"So you're really turning it down. The FBI offer I mean."

"Yes I am Fusco. I got a better offer here actually."

"Whatever you say, Carter. Hey where you running off to?"

"I have a date as a matter of fact. I'll see you tomorrow Fusco."

An hour later she was in her kitchen at home. A roast was in the oven, white rice was on the stove and she was making a garden salad. There was a knock on her door and she walked out front. John was on her doorstep, a sheepish look on his face. He had a bottle of wine in one hand and a cake box in the other.

"Come inside." She said and he bent down to kiss her before following her into the kitchen. "Dinner should be ready in another hour. And Taylor should be home soon."

"Something smells good."

"Roast. I hope you like it." She turned to look at him. "Just look at you. You took down ten guys in four minutes and you're scared to meet a teenager."

"Well I had training on how to do all that. This is a whole different ball game. And he's not just a teenager, he's your son. So I have to make a good impression."

"You already did when you saved his life actually." She said and her head turned in the direction of the door when she heard Taylor knocking. She shook her head.

"He must have left his key again. You wanna get that for me, John?"

"If you insist." He said, with a half smile.

"Don't worry. He's gonna fall in love with you. Just like I did." She added and didn't miss the meaningful look in his eye before he went to let Taylor in.

They both greeted each other and Taylor poked his head in the kitchen to say hello.

"We've got company for dinner. You remember John right? Go wash up and get ready."

John walked toward her in the kitchen after he heard Taylor's door swing shut. He pinned her against the counter. "Now that was a sneaky way of sharing that information with me." His lips grazed her neck.

"It just sort of came out. But I meant it."

His lips came down on hers softly and she smiled up at him.

"You do?" He asked and she nodded. "Good. I love you too."


End file.
